My journey to coaching
I’m passionate about helping people achieve all that they want, and to help manage challenges in their lives. There’s a quote I identify with that says, “Helping one person might not change the world, but it might change the world for one person”.
I have had my own battles with depression, anxiety, stress and struggling to find my purpose. At its worst my depression left me feeling that I was in a very deep, dark hole and had me contemplating what my friends’ and family’s life would look like without me in it. My anxiety resulted in me locking myself in a toilet cubicle at work for several hours, unable to leave and my stress levels had reached a point where I was physically ill with glandular fever, chronic fatigue, pneumonia. As a result, I also developed infections in my liver and spleen. There were events that contributed to this – an unhappy marriage, losing my Dad in difficult circumstances and struggling to find my purpose.
My children have also experienced mental health challenges, such as self-harm and behavioural problems resulting in involvement with gangs, drugs and running away from home. Please note that I am sharing these details with their permission.
Mental ill-health is something that has touched every part of my life and is ironically, where I have found my purpose. Helping others to realise that however deep and dark that hole feels, there is always hope, and things can always get better. Those words are more than just sound bites, they are words I truly believe in.
I was lucky that I knew someone at my local rugby club who is a Doctor and a firm believer in the power of coaching, compassion mindfulness and meditation. Thank you, Tim.
Tim taught me some principles that slowly over time I was able to utilise and start rebuilding my life and getting me back on track. I was also incredibly lucky to have an amazing girlfriend, friends and family, who were incredibly supportive.
With both myself, my children and the clients I work with, my mantra has become “Progress not perfection”.
I believe in the power of coaching because it helped me. I am my own best testimony.
There’s no silver bullet or magic wand to wave. It’s about following a process, committing time, effort and application to it. Once I started to put together a vision of how I wanted my life to be, it gave me my first set of goals to work towards. That then created tasks for me to do each day, and kept my mantra in the back of my mind at all times, “Progress not perfection”. Slowly over time I started to feel I was waking up each day with purpose. I was working towards something that mattered to me, and was valued by others.
The Coach I worked with talked a lot to me about the 5 pillars of happiness:
1. Positivity – which includes gratitude, thinking with optimism and employing a growth mind-set (the belief that you can improve intelligence, ability & performance, rather than believe these things are set in stone)
2. Engagement – which includes choice, being in the moment, living mindfully, or performing a task mindfully, giving it your sole focus
3. Relationships – having good positive relationships with people in your life
4. Meaning – what is your purpose, what are your values
5. Achievement – which includes goals and positive change
Ultimately by focussing on these five things, understanding my values, my purpose, working towards goals, focussing on gratitude, and the things I could control, all of this helped me to feel that I was moving forwards, not backwards.
I hope the above has helped you learn a little about me and my motivation to coach and support you. I am ready to listen when you call.