Last week we introduced you to the concept of mental fitness and how Positive Intelligence can transform the way you approach challenges, both in the boardroom and on the field. Today, we’re going to get up close and personal with the inner voices that can often get in the way—your Saboteurs.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Saboteurs? That sounds serious!” But don’t worry, we’re not here to judge. Instead, we’re taking a compassionate and non-judgemental look at these sneaky characters in your mind. Think of them as a rogue team that sometimes causes mischief in your thoughts, but with the right awareness, you can put them in their place.
Let’s meet the crew, shall we?
First up is the Judge. This one’s the ringleader of the Saboteurs, always ready to criticise—whether it’s yourself, others, or even the circumstances you find yourself in. The Judge loves to point out flaws and mistakes, making you feel like you’re not quite good enough. It’s that voice that says, “You could have done better,” whether you’re closing a deal or pushing through a tough match.
Why It’s Harmful: The Judge keeps you trapped in a cycle of negativity, making it hard to appreciate your achievements or the good in others. It’s a major source of stress and self-doubt, which can really impact your performance.
A Compassionate Take: The Judge thinks it’s helping by pushing you to improve, but real growth comes from a place of self-compassion, not self-criticism. Next time the Judge starts up, remind yourself of your strengths and celebrate what you’re doing right. You deserve some credit for all your hard work!
Next, we have the Controller, who’s all about keeping a tight grip on everything. This Saboteur makes you feel like if you don’t manage every detail, things will fall apart. Whether it’s dictating every move on the pitch or micromanaging your team, the Controller just doesn’t know when to let go.
Why It’s Harmful: The Controller can make you tense and overbearing, which not only wears you out but also puts a strain on your relationships. It’s exhausting to try and control everything, especially when some things are simply out of your hands.
A Compassionate Take: The Controller is driven by a desire to succeed and a fear of failure. But true strength lies in trust—trust in your team, in the process, and most importantly, in yourself. Learning to let go a little can open you up to new opportunities and relieve a lot of unnecessary stress.
The Hyper-Achiever is all about winning, all the time. It ties your self-worth directly to your accomplishments, making you feel valuable only when you’re hitting targets, winning matches, or closing big deals. For many high-performers, this Saboteur feels like a constant companion, always pushing for the next big success.
Why It’s Harmful: While striving for success is great, the Hyper-Achiever never lets you enjoy it. Once you’ve hit one goal, it’s immediately on to the next, leaving you perpetually chasing after validation and never feeling truly fulfilled.
A Compassionate Take: The Hyper-Achiever wants to ensure you’re always at your best, but remember, your worth isn’t defined by your accomplishments alone. Take a moment to celebrate your wins and recognise that you’re enough just as you are. Success is sweeter when you allow yourself to savour it.
The Restless Saboteur is always on the lookout for the next big thing. It’s never satisfied with the present, always urging you to chase after new opportunities, projects, or strategies. Whether it’s switching tactics mid-game or jumping from one career path to another, the Restless keeps you moving, but never quite grounded.
Why It’s Harmful: The Restless makes it difficult to stick with anything long enough to see it through. It prevents you from fully engaging with the present moment, leaving you scattered and unfocused.
A Compassionate Take: The Restless is driven by a fear of missing out and a desire to keep life interesting. But real progress and satisfaction often come from dedication and focus. Practising mindfulness and finding joy in the here and now can help calm the Restless, allowing you to channel that energy more effectively.
Enter the Stickler, the Saboteur that insists everything be done perfectly. It demands precision, order, and high standards, often at the expense of your peace of mind. Whether it’s meticulously planning a strategy or executing a routine to perfection, the Stickler doesn’t allow for any mistakes.
Why It’s Harmful: The Stickler’s perfectionism can lead to stress, burnout, and strained relationships. It can also prevent you from taking risks or trying new things, for fear of not getting them perfect on the first try.
A Compassionate Take: The Stickler is motivated by a desire for excellence and a fear of failure. But remember, perfection is a myth—what truly matters is progress and effort. Learning to embrace imperfection as part of the journey can free you to be more creative, flexible, and kinder to yourself and others.
The Pleaser is all about keeping others happy, even if it means neglecting your own needs. This Saboteur seeks approval by putting others first, often leading to overcommitting and avoiding conflict. It’s the one that says “yes” to every request, no matter the personal cost.
Why It’s Harmful: The Pleaser’s constant need to please can lead to burnout, resentment, and blurred personal boundaries. It also stops you from being honest about what you really need, which can undermine your own performance and well-being.
A Compassionate Take: The Pleaser’s actions stem from a genuine desire to connect and help. But healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, not self-sacrifice. By setting clear boundaries and learning to say “no” when necessary, you can care for yourself while still being there for others.
The Hyper-Vigilant is constantly on edge, always looking out for potential threats or problems. Whether it’s worrying about an upcoming match, a critical business decision, or just the unpredictability of life, this Saboteur keeps you in a state of heightened anxiety.
Why It’s Harmful: While caution can be useful, the Hyper-Vigilant takes it too far, leading to chronic stress and exhaustion. It makes it difficult to relax or enjoy the moment because you’re always bracing for something to go wrong.
A Compassionate Take: The Hyper-Vigilant is driven by a deep desire to keep you safe. But living in constant fear doesn’t allow you to fully engage with life. By practising trust—trust in yourself, in others, and in the process—you can start to let go of the constant need for control and find some much-needed peace.
The Avoider is all about steering clear of discomfort—whether it’s conflict, tough decisions, or challenging tasks. This Saboteur encourages you to procrastinate, sidestep difficult conversations, or stick with the familiar to avoid the discomfort of change.
Why It’s Harmful: The Avoider’s tendency to dodge tough situations can lead to missed opportunities, unresolved issues, and a lack of growth. It can also cause stress, as problems that are avoided often grow bigger over time.
A Compassionate Take: The Avoider wants to protect you from discomfort and pain. But real growth and success often require facing challenges head-on. By gradually confronting the things you’d rather avoid, you build resilience and confidence, knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way.
The Victim Saboteur amplifies your misfortunes, making you feel stuck in a mindset of helplessness. It tells you that life is unfair, that you’re unlucky, or that things are beyond your control. This Saboteur thrives on self-pity and can make you feel as though you’re always at the mercy of external forces.
Why It’s Harmful: The Victim keeps you trapped in a passive mindset, preventing you from taking proactive steps to improve your situation. It also drains your energy and focus, making it harder to stay motivated and engaged.
A Compassionate Take: The Victim wants you to be seen and understood, but it’s important to remember that you have more power than you think. By shifting your focus to what you can control, you can start to reclaim your agency and move forward with confidence.
Last but not least is the Hyper-Rational, the Saboteur that values logic and intellect above all else. It downplays emotions and relationships, focusing purely on facts, data, and rational thinking. This might make you feel disconnected from others or overly focused on the analytical side of things.
Why It’s Harmful: While logic and reason are important, the Hyper-Rational can cause you to neglect the emotional and relational aspects of life. This can lead to strained relationships and a lack of fulfilment, both personally and professionally.
A Compassionate Take: The Hyper-Rational is driven by a desire for clarity and understanding, but true wisdom comes from balancing the head and the heart. Embracing emotions and relationships can enrich your life and make you a more effective leader, teammate, and individual.
Now that you’ve met the Saboteurs, it’s time to take the next step. Discover which of these sneaky characters are most active in your mind by taking our Saboteur Assessment. This quick and insightful quiz will help you identify the specific Saboteurs that might be holding you back, giving you the awareness you need to start taking back control.
Click here to take the Saboteur Assessment.
Remember, this journey isn’t about beating yourself up over these Saboteurs—it’s about understanding them so you can start making choices from a place of strength, resilience, and positivity. You’ve got this!